Lizard in the Bathroom

I have so many things I want to show, to share, to teach, to tell, to learn ...
There are so many things that I do not understand, do not like, do not believe, do not deserve, do not think I'll be able to live without when I leave...

My thoughts, my journal, my sentence forming skills - all a mess.

For weeks I've been forming this mini-list of things I'm going to appreciate when I return home. I've thought it would be a cute lil' diddy to post, but for reasons unknown until now I haven't been able to. Mostly I thought nothing of it; blamed backspace and my spaced-out mind.

Today I realized that it is because my list isn't very cute or funny.

A shower, comfortable bed, bug free kitchen/bathroom, English, familiar people, the concept of lines, manners, reliable electricity, cross walks, clean air, laws against litter, a basic trash program, clean water, freedom of dress/movement/media/speech...

Even I can't see where the line between superficial worries and political issues begin and end. List typed, I still don't know where to go with this.

It didn't take long to realize I wasn't just another American cruising the Nile, eating mangoes, and checking out the Pyramids. A new arrival though is the weight of being more fully emerged into a different culture.

The longer I'm here, the more I see. The more I see, the more I understand. The more I understand, the more I learn. The more I learn, the more I realize- I have no. freaking. idea.

It is a good thing I journal. It helps me process this mess of thoughts, and keeps me from talking to myself too much. Works as a good calendar too - I actually sat and stared at the date for a while today. When did my return date get so close? I can't wait for that bed ... and shower ... and ...